This crazy life. Trust is something that we easily preach. We teach our kids about telling the truth and not telling lies. It seems so easy, the words stumble out “just trust me.”
Is it really that simple? In some ways, yes. We entrust our children to teachers each day. We trust the pilot will fly and land the plane that we board for a business trip. We trust that people will show up for appointments and do what they are supposed to do.
Throughout my years, I have come to realize there are actually few people that I can trust intimately, deeply, and fully. Trust requires wisdom on both sides. As a younger version of myself, I was insanely envious of other women close to me that had a “tribe.” Friendships that run hard, deep, and far. A circle so close that it can not be penetrated. They seem to always be filled with fun. In my life, I moved a bit too much and had some circumstances that prevented me from having “typical”college experiences. Life had dealt me some curve balls during those four years and to be honest, sometimes I’m not sure how I made it through college. There were some events as I came in to my adult years that I quickly began to question who I could trust and so, I became a bit of a Lone Ranger. I had a small group of friends. I never had a chance to develop a “tribe.” Oddly, the two people I was closest to, were not women, but men. Boys I had know since high school. They were some of the few I could truly trust. And today, one of them is my husband. As I age, and deal with more challenging life curve balls, I realize that for so many years, I thought I never had a “tribe.” But actually, I did, it was just different. This realization was a HUGE aha moment for me.
Why is it that we are so quick to stereotype this “tribe” mentality? I admire and respect groups of women who can get along and hold together. But as I watch the world around me, I realize, it’s not so perfect. Some of those tribes eventually drift apart.
They change. We change. Life changes.
As life changes, I realize what is constant and true. My aha moment is that I have a very small Tribe. But it is real and true and steadfast. It is very different from the stereotypical “tribe.” I have an awesome Village…… lots of big groups of wonderful people that fulfill different needs. But my “tribe” is tiny and looks different than the stereotypical one I envied so much. Being able to free your mind from struggling to obtain an ideal that others have is awesome. Shifting from trying to achieve something that I perceived as ideal, to knowing I have enough right around me is such a different way of thinking.
Change your thinking. I recently attended “The Feel Good Summit.” As I reflect on all the messages and information I come back to an exercise lead by author and speaker, Geneen Roth. It was the exercise I disliked the most of the entire weekend. Funny how something we resist is what we need the most. In a nutshell, it was a food meditation by a speaker who specializes in eating disorders. It brought us through being mindful of what is on our plate, how quickly we eat, the taste of food, and realizing when we have had enough.
That word: ENOUGH.
discovering your peace
God has give us everything we need. It is all inside of us and in him. Trust God. My funny, unique, tiny Tribe is enough. Actually, it’s perfect. At the helm, I realize how faith centered my life has quietly been. I pray more and reflect more than I realize. Trusting God enables us to begin to hand over doubt and fear. It is peaceful. True trusting also means embracing and harnessing your own power and responsibility. It’s a two way street.
Through the exercise, I just kept thinking “I’m hungry. This isn’t what I came here to learn….”. But it was. For me, these are the things I took away:
It became about appreciating good food.
Really good food.
New and different flavors, textures, and styles.
About appreciating how it was grown, harvested, and prepared.
The work that went into creating good wholesome food.
But more importantly, it was also about me. About pausing. About moments.
About shedding all the excess and enjoying my “enough.”
And about finding my purpose.
And then….. linking these two and realizing that emotional eating does creep into my life. Although I don’t suffer from severe eating disorders, it is easy to answer cravings when I am stressed. Realizing this and owning it…. creates more options for balance and health. My alternatives have become deep breathing and water.
Some of us trust easier than others. And that is okay. But, what I do know is deeply trusting God and the people closest to you helps. They are there for you. You don’t always have to be in control. It’s like being on a road trip….Sometimes being a passenger is enough. Taking in the beauty and sites around you. Offering a supporting role as a navigator. Those things are important and It’s all enough. Let someone else do the driving and enjoy your enough.
So many times people talk about simplifying stuff…….. but it can be more that that. It can be ideas, relationships, goals, to-do, lists, work, chores, iconic achievements, status, busyness, etc….. you get the idea.
Today I challenge you to stop and think about that word: ENOUGH.
Stop chasing all the that stuff. Let go of what isn’t serving you and find your shift. Just bcause you release the excess and acknowledge what is enough doesn’t mean you give up on what’s important. It just brings it into focus. It releases stress. It is good for your heart and soul. It is part of your true overall wellness.
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